Vulnerability & Inconsistency

It doesn’t matter if it makes sense, interpret it the way your mind tells you too.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

To be beautifully inconsistent is to fluctuate consistently, numbers on scales going up and down in a beautiful harmony to make up human mass and the humanity we posses. The measure of our decisions which then makes a conscious action to counteract what we choose to do with ourselves. Its an endless loop. Batting our helpless wings to create that perfect hurricane on the other side of the world. Or perhaps the other side of our metaphorical world. For me, my wings surround me like a cage I cannot seem to free myself of. I create a whirlpool of mixed emotions and feelings to the point of losing clarity in the overflowing river of truth and reality.

By never showing true vulnerability, I choose to keep myself locked away and avoiding the truth, my harsh reality. Letting people see who I truely am is more daunting then my impending fear of heights, or my irrational fear of the dark. I find it almost threnodic , an urban desolation. To feel empty in a room full of people. Its rather pessimistic but then again so am I. How are we meant to judge who won’t hurt us without giving them a weapon? Metaphorically speaking, our greatest weapon is the truths we withhold and keeping ourselves from vulnerability and exposure.

We are encouraged to grow and learn from our choices and mistakes. But what if you like the feeling of falling on your knees but refusing to get back up because the way the gravel caresses your skin is a better pain then knowing your choice was the wrong choice but you were blinded by something? Now your ignorance has you captive as you pretend like you didn’t know it was a mistake dressed up like a last resort “good decision”. Your stuck. Desperately grabbing up at the sky for a fresh breath to relive yourself from suffocation caused by your choices. When do you choose to come up for air? Before you blank out or before your choices grab your leg and pull you further into ignorance? Your Choice.